Bombay Diaries

Hibernation

2008-07-18T13:15:00.004+06:00

This blog is on a break. As was painfully obvious, posting had dropped. Neither thoughts nor words are constrained but time is. As R.E.M. said "Oh, life is bigger."

See you soon.

In the words of The Gubernator, I'll be baak.

If you have to buy me a gift

2008-07-04T20:30:00.005+06:00

Then let this be it.
Anything from here will also be cool. Thanks in advance.

PS - I'm restarting from Season 6, Part 1, Episode 75. I just don't want to see everything at one go. Things like this..you just want it to last.

PPS - And why now? Because I read this today while waiting for a, well, doctor. And talking of which, this bit from the last episode I saw.

In Dr. Melfi's office, Tony laments about people lining up for thrill rides. "They pay money to almost puke." She asks if he's bored. Tony claims he continues to feel that every day is a gift, but "Does it have to be a pair of socks?"

Briefly mentioned

2008-06-20T19:47:00.007+06:00

You've heard it before so I won't say it again. I'm tied up with stuff and I've falling back on posts. So there. Meanwhile, some of the interesting things I've come across posted below for your perusal

1.[From FT] Lucy Kellaway on office barbs: Corporate life can be fun. Ask Lucy. In this brilliant column she gives a rundown of the euphemisms hurled at you and what they really mean. I've been fortunate to have worked for a largely-no-bullshit organisation which worked on a bulwark management principle of "Positive feedback is assumed. Negative feedback will be conveyed." (Yes, this has been told to be by my one-time boss). Nowithstanding that, one of my favourite barbs was "We should also look at..." and variations like "Why don't you talk about..". (v. similar to "Have you thought about.." mentioned in Lucy's column). Go read and add your own.

2. [From the BBC]: 50 office-speak phrases you love to hate: Reminds me of what I'd posted here.

2. [From FT] David Simon's interview: The Wire (recommended by my good friend Purush) was arguably the best serial on American television in recent times. And only HBO would air it. I've seen Season 1 on DVD and am waiting for my DVD-wallah to update his library with subsequent seasons. I liked this interview for its descriptions of the series..

The Wire will have none of the trite improbabilities that carefully pilot most movie and television dramas towards their wholesome dénouements. It speaks of a society that is riven, rabid with corruption and frequently wrong-headed. Nothing if not ambitious in its scope, each series treats a different aspect of American society in its overarching narrative: starting with the drug scene, then taking on unemployment, local politics, education and ending with the media.

..and this haunting quote from Simons:

Why doesn’t he write a boy-meets-girl story? “No, I wouldn’t be any good at it.” He says he has problems with female characters. “My strongest female character so far is a lesbian [Kima Greggs, one of The Wire’s police officers].” So where does a viewer find hope in his stories? “In the actions of individuals. In those characters in The Wire who rear up on their hind legs against injustice. The mere act of standing up and speaking for something that is right is a fundamental human victory, even if nothing comes from it.”

3. Back to something funny. I don't know if this is truly Rocky J's blog, but who cares. This is a hilarious post on how Rocky J convinces Vinod Khanna to make a movie on two warring brothers and one South African telecom company. Howlarious. Much fun much required when the markets are causing muchos grief.

4. [From Bloomberg] One more on the markets (via The God in the Middle East): A high-profile analyst at a multinational brokerage ends a 12-year career. During his stint, he also wrote an anon London newspaper column making fun of analysts. Predictably, he's writing a book, which includes this bit:

At one point, Jones, who's been negotiating to switch firms, gets a phone call with an offer: basic pay of 100,000 pounds ($197,000) and two guaranteed bonuses of 250,000 pounds.

``What a total buffoon!'' Jones says of the person making the offer. ``These total losers think that I'm worth almost 700,000 pounds over the next year-and-a-half. Don't they realize I'm just a stoner hippy who got lucky?''

I'm thinking Jack Welch.

5. And finally via The D Man: The Trident at Nariman Point, Mumbai, like you've never seen it before. Hell, even I want to take a photo like that.

On lifts

2008-06-01T20:50:00.005+06:00

Firstly, it's 'lift'. I've never heard anyone in Bombay calling it an 'elevator'. So it's lift, not elevator (I mean, imagine Adnan Sami going "Elevate kara de").

My favorite lift story is when we were at this friend’s house. While leaving, I stuck my chewing gum on the "G" button (I figured ground floor’s the most used one) of his lift. I shaped it around the white button, stuck it and left – much disaster, agony, gaali-galoch in his housing society followed. Yes, that was a very tough patch for our friendship. Poor guy.

So, this post is about lifts and the fact that I've been kinda fascinated by them. Terrified of escalators (for which I'm duly mocked at by family and friends), but kinda fascinated by lifts. As a kid it was the whole Superman thing - entering a lift with normal clothes and flying out of the terrace, all caped and red undies and stuff (ok, the undies didn't figure then). As an adolescent, well, if you've heard Aerosmith, you know what I mean. And now - or at least till I worked at an office - I've been fascinated at the great Indian lift culture.

I think lift culture forms an essential part of societal norms and urban life. As long as you are in a mode of transport, there is an established code for behaviour. In a local train you move towards the door when your station's about to come. If you're driving, you stick to certain lanes (yeah right). If you're in a bus, you keep your money ready when the conductor's around. You know, there's an order, a discipline. Small things that keep life in a city calm and peaceful. More importantly, it's part of an important mechanism for survival (or as I know it - getting to office on time.)

I've observed some cogs in the wheel of this lift culture machinery. You know, some trends and types. Like this.

1. The dash - Even before you enter your lobby, from the corner of your eye you notice that of the four lifts in the lobby, only one is boarding - and people are rushing in. This gets out the Carl Lewis or P. T. Usha in you. This is the single most important dash of the day. If you rewind the moment, you can see yourself, in full formals, running, chest heaving, drops of sweat falling off the brow, running to that one lift. Think Chariots of Fire. Think glory, think victory.

2. Being Noah - In the absence of a lift-man, if you happen to be the one near the dashboard, then you, yes you are the man. Sure, others will jab your six packs trying to push the floor button and someone from the back will shout "Boss, jara 10th floor". But dude, you are Noah. This is your ark. You have to herd everyone away from the flood. In short press "door close" and let's move it. Oh and don't forget the expression of Carl Lewis on the other side as the doors close. He didn't make it, I did. Life hai.

3. Low life - May the Lords despatch to hell those who press the "up" button when they want to go "down". May he have fungus-infected underwear for the rest of his life. So the door opens and you see this guy who asks "Neeche?". It brings out the Uruk Hai in you. After all, there is no stretch of logic to justify an action like that. Motion is simple. Up is up and down is down. This lift can't go down mid-way, when it's going up. And certainly not when Mogambo is in it. Now die, filthy mortal. You say "No" calmly. Humanity wins.

4. Desperado - See, pressing the "Lift" button 534 times in 10 seconds won’t get the lift to you quicker. No, really. There's electronics, physics, hydraulics, engineering going behind that door, behind that button. Stuff you won’t understand, stuff that has made people Noble laureates. So it doesn't matter if you keep pressing. I know you belong to an era of collapsible gate lifts when you'd shout out "Lift" and lo and behold, like a nymph from the skies, like an apsara, a lift would float in front of you. No. It's not like that any more. So wait. Be quiet. Save the energy.

So, these were my few observations. Love to know yours.

And if, like me, you’re looking for the answers to these questions:
1. Oh horror, my lift’s falling and I’m going to die. Should I jump out just before it hits the ground?
2. Oh horror, my lift’s….should I just hug the floor of the lift?

..actually even if you’re not thinking those questions, just read this excellent New Yorker piece on elevators, “Up and down: the lives of elevators by Nick Paumgarten”. Brilliant stuff.

Ad nauseam

2008-05-14T18:22:00.004+06:00

On more than one occasion, I've said rather lamely here, and at my other blog, that "I am busy and I will come back". Ad nauseam to myself. Fact is blogging doesn't pay my bills and fact is that much as I'd love to pen down all my thoughts here, it's just not possible (and that's why I love twitter). Also, I can't get myself to regularly link to interesting stuff I read, throw in funny comments and post here (and I quite admire those who do that so well).

And now that I've covered all those things, here's the deal. I've not blogged for some time on both my blogs and I think that sucks. There have been enough moments when I've thought and re-thought on whether I should even stop blogging altogether but that's not an option for me (unfortunately it was for this self-confessed loony blogger).

So, yet again I'll say what I've said - I will be back (as a popular Hindi song so succinctly put it - sinful stomach's question it is). Till then in an effort to explain why I blog, I shall conveniently link to the Iengar Chick's excellent cartoon-filled post on "Top 10 Reasons to be a blogger". #3 is enough for me.

Vodafone's brilliant ad campaign

2008-05-04T13:03:00.003+06:00

The minute I saw the new Vodafone ads I knew that the pug represents the customer. The customer who haplessly and tirelessly runs around everyone at Vodafone's legendary call centres. I'm guessing the brilliant ad agency who made this will sweep all ad awards.

Any Vodafone customer knows that the transition from Hutch to Vodafone has moved an already abysmal customer service to an unthought of new depth (been to their "customer service centre lately? what's the longest you've been kept on hold? try and beat my record of 38minutes).

And it is exactly this that is being advertised and celebrated by Vodafone, i.e. we're happy to provide you with "customer executives" that you can breathlessly chase after because ha, ha, ha we sure as hell ain't gonna give you any service.

Your call dropped? You can't get reception in your house while other networks can? Oh, we overbilled you did we? Choose from hundreds of such options. Whatever the problem, we sure as hell aren't gonna solve it. But guess what, we're happy to help you with a chance to run around us, ha, ha, ha, geddit?

The day number portability is launced I will gladly pay to get rid of this execrable, abominable and truly pathetic mobile phone service that is one of the best illustrations of the the term fubar.

[PS: also read this post from what might well be the diary of Rocky J. Or not.]

Gone baby gone and inner city decay

2008-04-22T19:39:00.004+06:00

This has got to be one of the best movies I've seen in recent times. An earlier non-existent respect for Ben Affleck is now at a high. (Although to be fair, I should also state my admiration for his and Matt Damon's Oscar-winning original script for the brilliant "Good Will hunting").

Casey Affleck's performance took some time to get used to during the movie, mainly because you're expecting so much more emotion from someone in his role. Rather than waste words, I'll just quote Manohla Dargis

Most actors want you to love them, but Casey Affleck doesn’t seem to know that, or maybe he doesn’t care. Patrick doesn’t cuddle or kiss up. He takes the job Bea offers despite the reluctance of his live-in girlfriend and partner, Angie (a solid Michelle Monaghan), but he doesn’t look like anyone’s idea of a savior. With his sneakers and jeans and small-man’s swagger, he comes off like one of those toughs who never leave the neighborhood and would sooner swing a bat at your head than at a ball.

Old reliables Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman's deliver predictably strong performances. On the ratings front, no surprise then that the movie gets a 93% fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes

But leave aside all that. I loved the movie for the beauty of the camera work. And this, expectedly as the DVD features showed, was a key element of the movie. From the first frame to the last, city and community form the vivid canvas for the movie. Some scenes of decay reminded me of HBO's path-breaking and recently concluded "The Wire" (whose depiction of inner city decay was of course on a totally different and deeper level).

Also, if you are going to see the movie look out for the opening and closing lines. Haunting lines of dialogue. I haven't read the book, but if I eventually do, I'll write that down as one of the rare cases of a movie making me want to read the book.

Inner city decay on film has always been an issue close to my heart and I wish it was delved into depth more often in India. And no, despite it's alluring title, I do not include the tepid "Life in a Metro" because that movie was more characters and not city. And no that Irrrffann Khan line of "Ye shehar bahut deta hai aur usse jyaada leta hai" left me unmoved. Yawn.

Still, I shouldn't crib because there's still so much better cinema with Bombay as an integral, even central, character. This theme was explored on this blog in the Reel Life Bombay series where fellow bloggers Filmiholic and Punds were kind enough to pen some fine posts on Bombay in movies. Do read and let me know if you've seen any movie where you also remember the city it was shot in.

[Disclaimer: For those expecting racy, exciting, detective, murder-mystery kinda stuff that makes you fall from your chair every 10 seconds and leaves you bum sore, please don't see this movie.]

Let's see how far we've come

2008-04-14T20:17:00.003+06:00

I haven't heard as many songs of Rob Thomas and Matchbox Twenty, but what I've heard ("Bent", "If you're gone" and Thomas' single "Streetcorner Symphony"), I've really liked.

But "How far we've come" is the best so far and it's currently on repeat mode on my player (just like Speed of Sound was once). Then I checked out the video and totally tripped on it too.

Brilliant song, seemingly introspective and definitely a commentary on the world if the video is anything to go by. A video of that kind, with clips of some of the most unforgettable moments in history, really takes the song to a different level.

I don't know why it reminded me of Billy Joel's "We didn't start the fire", a song which also had a great video, which you can see here (embedding disabled by the poster, a certain, er, billyjoel. huh.)

Good music, I tell you, can change stuff. Ah. Must hear it hear it again.

Life post break

2008-04-08T19:26:00.002+06:00

is different. Bombay post break is different. Three short scenes on this different life so far. Thoughts and comments, as always, welcome.

*****

When did this being on break become cool? We (self and wife) were out for an evening walk the other day and I get a call from someone I know who was – as the term goes – slogging away at office. And it’s not the first one of these types I’ve got. Now I don’t think I’m appearing cool because it’s a decision I took and remember it’s you who’s getting the monthly paycheck. But if you’re gonna shower me with all the “lucky you, how does it feel” thing, then well, what do you expect? So here, this is what I’m up to. I’m taking a walk, seeing the sunset, soaking it all in, on a weekday. I never thought I could do it, and believe me, I wish I can keep this going for the rest of my life. And since you asked, yes, it feels great.

*****

The Bombay I knew from my office cubicle is so distant from the Bombay I see now. One thing I’m sure about is that Bombay sure isn’t dead. As long as its people run, Bombay’s full of life. Overflowing with life. Man, except me, everyone’s running. The poor run, the rich run. So do the young and the old (this seemingly 70+, woman almost trampled me when I came in her way today). Rich and poor alike. Running on the road, running on the railway tracks, running with their cars. All running for something, with something, because of something, towards something. I don’t know what makes them run. But as long as they run, Bombay runs. Don’t mistake this for the “spirit of the city” – if you did, then you’re probably a Bombay romantic. Or work for the media. Me? I’ve never believed in a “spirit of Bombay”. The only spirit Bombay has is money and it sure as hell keeps it high.

*****

The scene that will remain me for a long time is when I’m at a school playground catching up with someone I haven’t met in a while. We’re sitting, watching the kids play. They’re practicing running, athletics or whatever it is. Instructors are pacing the kids, the kids are racing with each other. The older ones are running laps. Over the playground and over the mud-kicked dusty air, the sun is setting, setting off its usual riot of colors in the sky that makes me linger on more to sunsets than sunrises. And there’s this palpable sense of freedom. Of absolute, boundless freedom. I can see it in the children, I can sense it in the air. As a passing thought, the concept of open space becomes more real to me than it ever has in my life. But there’s this freedom. As if all that’s there is that moment. That’s what it’s about really. How free do I want to be. Everything else kinda settles down around. Just like the dust and the grass around those kids.

Twitter

2008-04-02T21:12:00.003+06:00

So I am on twitter, courtesy of this person who invited me a few months back and I've not looked back since then.

And I'm going to conveniently blame my absence here to twittering, because - oh ok, there I admit it - I'm hooked on to twitter.

But no, I refuse to embed it to my side-bar or "micro-blog" it here. Call me old-fashioned, but that's twittering and this is blogging. I'd like to keep them apart, thank you very much.

See you soon here. Or sooner, you know where.

5 lessons from the stock market crash

2008-03-17T19:20:00.012+06:00

1. Believe no one. At times even yourself. If they tell you that stocks return more than bonds over the long term, ask them what they mean by long term. If they say 10 years, ask them if they've heard about a country called Japan. In 20 years, the stock market there has halved. If they say shit happens, ask them if they've heard about a country called the United States of America - 8 years (2000 to 2008), that market hasn't gone anywhere. Long term, short term, any term. If stocks return better than bonds, then just remember, you're also taking a higher risk. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.

2. In the end, it all boils down to luck. Some people are born lucky and some are unlucky losers. Most of mankind trades in between. But no one is bigger than the markets. Take all the collective advice and learnings from all those market experts bombarding the CNBCs of the world and put it on one side. As Jack Welch said "There are more mediocre people making more money on Wall Street than any other place on earth. " So for all their collective experience, their pedigree education, their wisdom, their brilliance, they're all as prone to fall victim to greed as you are. From Wall Street to Dalal Street, a sucker's born every minute. The game changes, but the rules remain the same. South Sea, tulips, Ponzi, Enron, Long Term Capital Management, sub-prime.... I say bring it on. This is what the human race has to offer, as proof of so many years of technological advancement and progress. Sheesh. In some matters, we're still apes. Evolution kinda passed us by there now, didn't it.

3. Fear will scare you, and greed can kill you. Discipline is not a four-letter word. It's a tough exercise that you learn through the years. That's right, your own wisdom from your own experience. Not that of the guy managing your money, because he sure ain't answerable to anyone. Not you. Not to his boss. Ever wonder why there's only one Warren Buffett in the world? Read what he has to say. Learn, fall, learn and move on. Life's a bitch, but there's always debt, right?

4. Making money isn't fun. Bull runs don't last forever, and the bear is one ugly animal. Your money is hard-earned, so think before listening to some slick dude/babe armed with a laptop, who's flashing a presentation about the power of compounding, or long-term investing, or the next big thing. He's just trying to earn a living and the younger he is, chances are he'll only tell you about what happened between 2003 and 2007. Nowadays, spreadsheets and presentations aren't updating too quickly for what's happened in 2008.

5. Define and dare. Be clear that you have what it takes. Be clear about what it can cost you. It's your hard-earned money and that's what is at stake. There are no notional losses, there are just lost opportunities. If you want a suit, be prepared to lose your shirt, pants and then some. Over long, long periods, the markets can, maybe, at times turn kind. But don't expect it.

But heck, enough of cliched by-lines. Tell me, what did the markets teach you today?

Bombay's Black Friday, never forget

2008-03-12T09:39:00.004+06:00

Blast 1 - 1.28pm - The Bombay Stock Exchange. 84 dead, 217 injured.

Blast 2 - 2.15pm - Narsi Natha Street. 5 dead, 16 injured.

Blast 3 - 2.25pm - Air India Building. 20 dead, 87 injured.

Blast 4 - 2.30pm - Lucky Petrol Pump, Dadar. 4 dead, 50 injured.

Blast 5 - 2.55pm - Century Bazaar. 113 dead, 227 inured.

Blast 6 - 3.05pm - Zaveri Bazaar. 17 dead, 57 injured.

Blast 7 - 3.13pm - Plaza Cinema, Dadar. 10 dead, 37 injured.

Blast 8 - 3.20pm - Sea Rock Hotel, Bandra. No one dead or injured.

Blast 9 - 3.25pm - Juhu Centaur Hotel. 3 injured

Blast 10 - 3.35pm - Airport Centaur Hotel. 2 killed, 8 injured.

"Subsequent police investigations revealed that 257 people were either killed or went missing in the blasts while 713 were injured."

Dawood Ibrahim, the main accused, is still at large.

Song of the year 2008

2008-03-06T20:50:00.003+06:00

I doubt anything can come close to "Ay hip hoppper" by Ishq Bector featuring Sunidhi Chauhan. More than 9 months to go for this year to be over, but man, I don't know if anything can come close to this blockbuster.

And no, I refuse to hear any criticism about this song. If you don't like it, if it's not in your head if you're not clicking "replay" on that link above then I have one four-letter word for you my friend. Snob. Guahaha. Lyrics here and this bit which is what I'm tripping on for now.

Mere pyar ki basti mein, mere love ki basti mein.
Thodi masti ho jai sir!
Aye Hip-Hopper!

Looking for comedy in the Indian world

2008-02-23T20:13:00.008+06:00

Before “Flop Show”, there was “Yeh jo hai zindagi” and before both of them, there was “Baban Prabhu and Yakub Sayed” in the Doordarshan days. There was also “Chaal Nawachi vaachal vasti” and a whole lot of Marathi TV serials and legendary Marathi humorists like PuLa, that half of Raj Thackeray’s party members couldn’t even remember. Just like brothers-with-arms, the Samajwadi Party, wouldn’t know Kaka Hathrasi and Ashok Chakradhar. But I digress.

This post is simply about “What makes you LOL?” I’m talking old-fashioned laugh-out-loud. Not a smile, snicker, or heh, but a hearty laugh. Here’s what made me LOL over the years.

First there was..
The earliest stuff made me LOL were all those TV serials mentioned above. I loved them for the simple, situational comedy of everyday life. In movies, “Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro” and “Chashme Buddoor” had me in complete splits. Video was still new and staple viewing included “Mind Your Language”, the “Lemon Popsicle” and “Carry On” movie series. In comics, I was a huge fan of Beetle Bailey, Graffiti, Hagar the Horrible, The Lockhorns and Moose & Molly. (This was obviously before Mid-day in Bombay started my all-time fav “Calvin and Hobbes”)

I discovered the joys of PG when I enrolled at the British Council Library. Other than Mr. Wodehouse, I read magazines Punch and Private Eye and admired the way the Brits tear their politicians apart. In those cable-less days, we were also lucky to see Brit TV series like the legendary "Yes Minister" and "Yes Prime Minister", “Spitting Image”, “Drop the Dead Donkey” and “Fawlty Towers” on good ol’ Doordarshan. There was also “Different Strokes” but give me those Brit comedies any day.

..Then the nineties
With cable coming in the early nineties, Star TV, in its original avatar, showed some excellent stuff like “MASH”, “Home Improvement” and “The Simpsons”. There was also the brilliant improv show “Whose line is it anyway”. The few days that NBC aired in India, I looked forward to “The Tonight Show” with Jay Leno and then “Late night with Conan O’Brien” – quickly coming to prefer Conan to Leno. But NBC shut shop soon deciding that there was no market for an English TV channel in India. It took time for Star TV to agree. (Since then Star has come back with a dedicated English channel, but not NBC).

Later in the 90s, I liked “Friends” for some time but got bored quickly of their self-obsession and sex obsession. An accusation that holds true for just about any American TV series, so it’s only a question of what you can take. So, I took on to “Seinfeld” like crazy. I think it’s the best comedy TV series ever for me. In movies, anything by Zucker-Abrahams was totally LOL’able( “Airplane”, “The Naked Gun” and “Hot Shots” series) and two other landmark comedies of the 90s were “My Cousin Vinny” and “There’s something about Mary”.

The here and now
Cut to present day. I don't think I’m enough. But then, comedy ain’t what it used to be. Political correctness is the order of the day and we take things too seriously. (That’s one reason I enjoy “Curb Your Enthusiasm” – if that’s daily life in the US then it’s more reality than comedy.)

No media house dare make a (comedy) TV series or movie on politics, bureaucracy or the system. Can’t blame them, who’d want their effigies and posters burnt? That sucks so much (just for that hats off to Cyrus Broacha on The Week that Wasn’t). And that’s why I’m a huge fan of “Real Time with Bill Maher”. For the love of God I can’t imagine anyone in Mumbai making fun of either Balu T or Raju T (both of them, ironically, being cartoonists). And I doubt that day would ever come. For example, why has stand-up comedy never taken off in Bombay?

Which means we have to rely mostly on slapstick, parody and risqué humor to run our “Laughter Challenges”. Not that I’ve disliked them. In the past, I’ve enjoyed Raju Srivastav and Sunil Pal much more than any Priyadarshan comedy (barring the first “Hera Pheri”). And I also think Munna-bhai took comedy to a completely different level. But still. There’s only so much that we can come up with. All the laughter shows have become photocopies of each other and I could never stand seeing Sidhu, Shekhar Suman, Mandira Bedi, et al with their over-the-top fake ear-to-ear laughs. The only comedy I enjoy on the Hindi TV channels today is the priceless "Sarabhai v/s Sarabhai". Whoever thought a clash between elitism and middle class-ism could be so hilarious. Ironically, the series has already closed a long time back and what I'm seeing today are re-runs - which are still very funny.

Finally, the internet. From emails, the fore bearers of the tech funnies, to Facebook wall posts, Orkut scraps and youtube videos, I’ve seen barely a handful of really funny stuff. And now there’s blogs. Even here, I’ve stopped following most of the blogs I found funny for a variety of reasons (Gawker being an exception because he's a class apart).

Hm. Funny. When I want it, it does become difficult to find comedy in my current world.

So, what makes you LOL?

HBO stops Bill Maher podcasts outside US

2008-02-19T11:15:00.008+06:00

Update: HBO has resumed podcast downloads for Real Time for listeners outside of the USA, so..er..yay!

I listen regularly to "Real Time with Bill Maher" via HBO's podcasts. A few days back, iTunes started giving an error message which went "Authorization needed to access podcast". (note in the screen-capture below how previous podcasts downloaded without a problem).

Whoo hoo. I thought Apple is at again disallowing lesser mortals from accessing stuff via iTunes (remember, they still don't allow music downloads via iTunes for India). I thought well, you know, it's Apple. What else can you expect? They've still to be pointed out India on the map. But a google search absolved Apple of this.

Yup, because I discovered that this time it's HBO. And guess what, it's not just India on their "oh no you don't" list, it's all the countries outside of the USofA. Check this thread for other users across the non-US world complaining of this. And also check this thread at the Apple discussion forum for something similar.

This kinda stuff defies sense. I mean honestly, we need to call in the Nobel Prize Committee for a new category here. Bring out the Oscars, the Emmys and all the prizes because this kinda global achievement deserves an award.

Seriously, what good does banning a podcast for users outside the US achieve? Do the Einsteins at HBO believe that "Real Time" podcast listeners do not have access to other means of technology that gives them access to - get this - not just the audio, but, hey, the video as well? You know that stuff wherein you can also see the show and not just hear it?

What riles me - as it did about two years back - is when these fruitcakes drive people to alternate methods. Which is what makes that ad which you see before the movie starts, you know the one which goes "Would you steal a car, would you steal a book? then don't go for piracy" look like a bunch of crock.

My own stand on piracy is a bit less liberal than others, i.e. I do believe in paying for content. If there was an iTunes for India, I would have paid to download music. But at this rate, what options do I have? You want to deprive me of my music, of my podcasts, of latest seasons on my TV series (remember all English TV channels in India are running more than a year behind of current seasons across all popular shows)? And you expect me to twiddle my thumbs till then? Yeah right.

See, there's a limit. There is a limit to which you can put those patronizing error messages on my computer screen. There is a limit to which you tell me that your is not available in my country.

Because guess what, M/s HBO and M/S Apple, and this will come as a surprise to you, there is something called the Internet. And hey, did you know it connects people to people. And - oh, this will blow you - it actually allows people to share things? So, if you think I'm not good enough for your content, then I guess I'll just have to find someone who does. And while you're figuring that out, please give my regards to the dinosaurs.

About the inner receptionist

2008-02-18T18:59:00.002+06:00

This Lucy Kellaway FT column was pointed to me by a good friend (JS!) from the Middle East. The piece titled "Happiness is finding your inner receptionist" hits home (last year, I'd quit my full-time to take a break.)

In said column, Ms. Kellaway speaks of a friend who quit a 20yr career of powerful media jobs to become a receptionist. Why?

Her routine was soothing. The people were friendly. The work was pleasant. It was also finite, easy to do well, and ended on the dot of 6pm. There were no unmanageable work loads, no ugly competition, no gnawing anxiety that you aren’t up to it and that someone else is better.

But best of all, she said, the receptionist’s job didn’t swamp her mind and her life; instead it left plenty of room for her to think her own thoughts. The only thing that wasn’t fantastic was the money, but it was enough and she didn’t mind.

You can read the article for your own conclusions. I was just thrilled to read it. Some familiar thoughts went through my head, re-visits of when I was firming up my decision to quit my job.

1. If we're all doing what we were born to do, why do we crib about the hours or the money or the pressure or the deadlines?

2. Is there an assumption that the job we do employs our talents to the best?

3. Do we even know what our talents are?

4. Is the path to discover our talents a linear one (i.e. Job X to Y to Z to A to B to C) and one that only a job can fulfill?

5. And finally, a very basic one - are these two joys comparable and/or mutually exclusive(a) watching a sunset each evening (b) adding that next zero to my net worth?

Ever thought on these lines? Would love to hear from you.

That thrilling world of politics

2008-02-12T21:19:00.000+06:00

Hm. An interesting debate over at the NYT.

First, Frank Rich accuses the Clinton campaign of dumping the black vote...

The campaign’s other most potent form of currency remains its thick deck of race cards. This was all too apparent in the Hallmark show. In its carefully calibrated cross section of geographically and demographically diverse cast members — young, old, one gay man, one vet, two union members — African-Americans were reduced to also-rans.

and chasing the Hispanic vote...

But the wholesale substitution of Hispanics for blacks on the Hallmark show is tainted by a creepy racial back story. Last month a Hispanic pollster employed by the Clinton campaign pitted the two groups against each other by telling The New Yorker that Hispanic voters have “not shown a lot of willingness or affinity to support black candidates.” Mrs. Clinton then seconded the motion by telling Tim Russert in a debate that her pollster was “making a historical statement.”

It's a lengthy, provocative, but backed-by-facts piece that is still there in the most e-mailed/blogged list of the NYT.

Just after this, the Krug-Man warned readers that the Obama campaign could be taking the US into Nixonland.

I won’t try for fake evenhandedness here: most of the venom I see is coming from supporters of Mr. Obama, who want their hero or nobody. I’m not the first to point out that the Obama campaign seems dangerously close to becoming a cult of personality. We’ve already had that from the Bush administration — remember Operation Flight Suit? We really don’t want to go there again.

The Economist recently called the US elections the greatest show on earth, again. I'm still trying to figure out how it works, but can't resist a sense of awe at the entire campaigning, debating juggernaut shebang. Sure, it's also dirty, but then who said becoming the leader of the free world was easy.

Point of post? Just putting this in the background of Indian politics. Remember we're (State and Country) up for elections next year. No primaries, no caucuses, no debates. Just simple dishkaaon elections. Good old coalition politics. No majority, no minority. And sure no priority at least for the nation.

Even though I am in awe of it, I've never understood the US elections and I'm loathe to compare it to the Indian ones. Why? Because I think any India v/s US comparison is slightly arbit. Still, I am having an interesting e-mail conversation with a good friend on similar lines.

That apart, I think one thing seems to be common, politicians are politicians and will remain that way. Partisanship, divisiveness and cult personality are probably wired into the DNA of every politician. If he's not born with it, he'll pick it up soon on the way.

Look at very own local hero Raju T playing the Marathi Manoos card. Even though the educated elite are gasping at his antics, they've also probably realised that this isn't anything new because Raju T is only upholding the Sena tradition. A tradition that has held them in good stead. Heck, even the Congress are staying true to their tradition, i.e. do nothing.

We're in for interesting times. Let's see what turn the US elections take next. Seems Obama is leading Clinton. Are we ready for a black leader of the free world?

Strange things happen. What if Raju T's brand of politics actually work? And if it doesn't than are we all happy with a, er, "secular" bunch of people who'd give Nero a run for his money? Or wait, am I hearing the roar of an old tiger again? Hang in there for a year to find out. Remember, it's a Chinese curse.

PS: Partially unrelated funny thing 1: That line from "A Few Good Men" kept coming back to me while I typed this post. "Unit, Corp, God, Country".

PPS: PUFT2: Picked up Season 1 of "The West Wing" , which seemed even more yesterday than Rudy Giuliani (gaah, it actually is) and have hence instantly given up on it. Aaron Sorkin, who wrote this glossy drama, was also the writer of "A Few Good Men". Told ya - partially unrelated.

The 5 links to 5 posts tag

2008-02-10T19:24:00.000+06:00

I'm missing blogging more than you think. But man does not live by blog alone and blogs don't pay the bills - an important thing to remember while I'm trying to secure a line of revenue with at least some predictability. Which isn't easy, but I knew that.

What I'm saying is that I will be back on this blog before you can say "Obama". (talking of which two bumper stickers of note - "We will Barack you" and "Monica Lewinsky's ex-boyfriend's wife for President"). Or for that matter "McCain" (yes, I'm still impressed with his straight talk).

But I vacillate, oscillate and digress. So, getting back..

The prolific Lekhni (now there's a blogger who blogs, and how) has tagged me for doing some recycling. The tag - as with others I've done in the past - ends here, but if you want to share that warm, taggy feeling, go ahead.

I have to recycle 5 posts on 5 key words as below.

Family - The big marriage in Delhi, a post I loved writing. Man, how I wish I could spend some more time in Delhi. Some day, when it isn't too cold. But who am I kidding? Bombay is now colder than Delhi . Guahaha.

Friends - My blog meet posts here and here. What a crazy gang. Must do that again too.

Yourself - The most personal one was the one about the break. I've always wanted to write on my experience on shaadi.com, but well..that's there with 100 other posts on 100 other things that never made it to print.

Love - Zilch, but that doesn't make me an unromantic person, does it?

Anything I like - Easy enough. Movies, lingo and TV on DVD.

It's a nice tag and you should do it. Spread the link love, I says, spread that link love.

On rollercoasters

2008-01-25T11:41:00.000+06:00

Yes, I've been AWOL and yes I don't quite like it. And yes, it's funny considering I'm on a break. Well, the news is that the break is still on but the break itself is in breaks. Because I'm up to some stuff that leads to the root of all evil. Or as I call it - rokda. So, I will be back on both blogs soon, just give me a bit.

And before I go I can point you to this lengthy and brilliant FT piece on the rollercoaster rides that the global financial markets, as well as our neighbourhood Dalal Street, are on. It puts a lot of things into perspective without going down either side of the slope. My favourite part was this, which is pretty much spot on.

“Typically interest rate cuts are effective in helping the corporate world when it is over-borrowed – but that is not the case now at all. In fact, it is not clear that interest rate cuts are going to motivate industry to invest more,” says the chief executive of one large insurer. “There is a real disconnect between what the Fed can do and its impact on the real economy – and the problem is that [Fed chairman Ben] Bernanke’s announcement may actually have a negative effect by signalling to the market that there is a problem.”

Read it if you're a markets person. Read it anyway. Regular programing, unrelated, I promise, to the markets, will commence soon. Thank you.

The tears did it

2008-01-09T16:28:00.000+06:00

Or did they?

This was the moment yesterday.

From the NYT

After a political lifetime of keeping her emotions secret, why was Mrs. Clinton finally letting her guard down? Was it a spontaneous outburst or a calculated show? Was Mrs. Clinton using her gender to win sympathy, or was she the victim of a double standard that allowed male candidates to cry — several have on the trail — but not female ones?

Don't miss the last line of that piece. If she does become President, that is going to remain one debated moment in US politics.

Meanwhile, fatigue shows, even for Barack Obama. From the HuffPo

"I've been campaigning a lot," he said. "And you know I say, 'The time for change has come.' The other day I said, 'The time for come has changed.' And I have to admit, everybody still clapped."

But my moment of the day had to be John McCain's moving victory speech, given among roars of "Mac is back".

The people of New Hampshire have told us again that they do not send us to Washington to serve our self-interest, but to serve theirs. They don't send us to fight each other for our own political ambitions; but to fight together our real enemies. They don't send us to Washington to stroke our egos; but to help them keep this beautiful, bountiful, blessed country safe, prosperous and proud.

And don't miss the last line of that speech either.

Recommendations invited

2008-01-07T09:28:00.000+06:00

For DVD viewing, movie and TV series included. After the wonderful recommendations by everyone in this post here, we saw the following

(1) Lost - Awesome. Loved it. We watched all 3 seasons in the span of a month, and just freaked on the series. Mind-boggling, mind-bending and I still can't get myself to like Michael for killing Ana Lucia and Libby. Just like I can't stop catching all those tags that Sawyer keeps throwing around. I'd do anything to find out whose funeral it was that Jack (in the future) almost attends, but I'm willing to wait till season #4 begins out here in India.

(2) The 4400 - Very good, but somehow it didn't engage me as much as Heroes. Seemed to be just a bit slow, although the concept was brilliant. Or perhaps I'm getting weary of the save-the-world thing. But I will surely watch Season #3 and 4 whenever it's out here on DVD. Bit surprising that the series was canceled after that.

Now, these are the series recommended (to me in the comments of that post) that make my DVD library-wallahs go all "Duh?" when I ask him for them

(a) Dexter
(b) McGoohan's The Prisoner
(c) Veronica Mars

As far as movies go, I haven't seen even one DVD that I can recall as excellent or even just damn good. The last one was Mr. Brooks.

So, whoever is out there, please let me know if you've seen something good, TV series or movie. Thank you.

I don't want to be a woman

2008-01-06T17:34:00.000+06:00

I don't want to be a woman because

- I'm a child, a girl, a lady, a woman. A friend, a sister, an aunt, a wife, a mother, a lover. Before all that I'm a woman.

- I'm available. I'm public property. My eyes, my lips, my breasts, my hands, my arms, my waist, my thighs, my feet, my legs. Their hands, their elbows, their eyes, their feet, their chest, their mouth. Their words. Their attacks. Their gropes, their stares, their nudges, their pushes.

- I'm a cunt. If I don't smile back at a stranger saying "Hi, want a lift?".

- I'm a raand. If I don't smile back at a stranger saying "Kya madam, chalen sair pe?"

- I'm available. If you want a one-night stand.

- I'm a whore. If I want a one-night stand.

- I'm a slut. If my best friends are guys.

- I'm a drunk. If I go to a bar after a bad day.

- I'm a chaalu. If I wear a mini skirt.

- I'm disgusting. If I used foul language.

- I'm ideal. If only I only stayed at home and didn't party.

- I asked for it. If I didn't smile back, if I got drunk, if I wore a mini skirt, if I wore a tight T-shirt, if I wore jeans, if I wore a frock. If I moved in a crowd. If I wanted to enjoy a sunset alone at Band Stand. If I wanted to go home with my friends after New Years.

- Yes, I asked for all of it. The violation, the intrusion, the humiliation, the hurt, the bruises, the insults, the blood, the tears, the trauma. I asked for all of it.

Mumbai declared safe for women

2008-01-04T18:34:00.001+06:00

The following is hereby notified vide Regulation 124/a/c/1/8765 of the Official Change of Status Act, Maharashtra, 1897, read with The Male Female Interaction Code of Conduct, Maharashtra, 555BC.

Mumbai is declared safe for women, provided, subject to:-

(1) The word "safe" means "free from molestation". The term "molestation" is restricted only to actual, proven, physical contact ("PC") between men and women in the city of Bombay/Mumbai. Examples of PC include groping, fondling, massaging, nudging, pressing, grabbing and similar activity.

(1b) However, staring at women, passing lewd remarks at women (for e.g. phrases such as "aati kya Khandala?", "kya maal hai", geographical references such as Aarey Milk Colony, etc.) fondling by man of his genitalia on seeing women, are excluded from the term "molestation". Mens are free to do this with no answerability, accountability, responsibility and any other ability.

(2) Women wearing following banned dressing will not have access to safety, i.e. if women wearing banned outfits below, then they will be subject to molestation at their own risk.

(2a) Indian outfit - sari, blouse, salwar-kameez, punjaabi outfits. Any outfit representing formal or informal attire of any state/UT of India.

(2b) Any other outfit

For best results, we recommend women wear large home furnishings (curtains, bed sheets, drapes) covering entire body with only the nose (specified as the only non-private part of a woman) being exposed for respiratory purposes. We do not take responsibility of women wearing above banned outfits.

Women wearing above banned outfits will be declared "fair game" for molestation with no resort to any authority.

(3) Women drinking any and all forms of alcohols are excluded in above declaration. Women found sipping, tasting, drinking, guzzling, injecting alcohol (in pure, distilled, direct or indirect forms, including soft drinks black in colour, including nail polish removers) do so at their own risk. Women found drinking (irrespective of quantity, irrespective of whether it is free or paid for) will be subject to molestation attempts from men at their own risk and the provisions of this section will instantaneously not apply.

(4) Following persons (including person and family) can say "Mumbai is safe for women"

(4a) Those who have not used public transport since 2002 and hence those who have their own personal transport (all vehicles priced at more than Rs6lakhs)

(4b) Those who only go from home to office and back, with weekend activity restricted to their own homes and those of similar said friends and relatives.

(4c) Those who have never been to malls, parks, promenades, gardens and other public places.

(4d) Those who have never walked on roads, entered lifts with a crowd of more than 5 people with women included.

(4e) Those who do not stroll around market places, vegetable markets, non-vegetable markets or go to pay bills for telephone, electricity or visit banks, hotels and restaurants.

The above-mentioned people (4a to 4e) are hereby authorised to chant "Mumbai is safe for women".

(5) Political parties Shiv Sena and Maharashtra Navnirman Sena will be issuing their own code of conducts, but these will apply to Maharashtrian women only (by birth, preferably not by marriage). Catholic women are free to approach the church. Similarly, we recommend that if you are a woman (defined as non-men), you should contact your nearest political party or religious body for further advice on safety, protection and salvation.

(6) The first 100 reported cases of molestation (starting from night of 31st Dec) in Mumbai will go scot free because these things happen in societies. We do not make mountains of molehills.

(7) The above declaration applies to all days and nights of a calendar year, except New Year's Eve.

Signed,
Those responsible for Mumbai

We invite public comments and opinion for above policy.

Wishing everyone, especially Mumbai's girls, ladies and women, a very safe and happy New Year 2008.

Cazzata Malanga

2007-12-27T12:16:00.000+06:00

Finally. Season 6, part 1 is available here on DVD. The Family is back.

Now, back to the fading year, see you on the other side.

Happy Holidays

2007-12-21T18:40:00.000+06:00

A term that I couldn't get when I first heard it. "Happy Holidays"? What's the deal with "Happy Holidays"? Sure I got that people go home for Diwali and stuff. And for me going home meant staying in Bombay itself. But "Happy Holidays"?

I mean I haven't seen anyone take more than two days off for Diwali. But since Diwali is on two separate days, more often than not it becomes a long weekend. You know, leave for home on Tuesday night, Weds is off (i.e. public holiday for Lakshmi Pooja), take Thursday off and since Friday would also be chutti (public hol #2 for Diwali), you land up taking almost the whole week off. Fresh back to work on Monday morning. That's the holidays that I know here.

But to think of going home from say, 23rd (Dec) night all the way to 1st (Jan)..that's 10 days. Man, that is a lot of leave. Yet, each time I see people greet each other, or signboards and ads everywhere (all this of course when I'm watching a an American serial) which go "Happy Holidays", I can't help but wonder, what would happen if I tell someone "Hey, Happy Diwali and Happy Holidays". Yeah, yeah, I know that look.

And since you're waiting for the point of this post, it is in fact - Happy Holidays. At least to me, because this blog is now off for..um..holidays. I will see you on the other side of the New Year 2008. Oh ok, I now I've been lax in my posting. And yes, I know that posts should logically have increased since I'm on break. But well, it's not happened and I'm sorry. I am because I know I want to post more. And I won't BS by saying "My New Year resolution is to post more", because that lies next to the "I will lose 20kgs this year". I mean if you believe that you'd believe that it's gonna be Ron Paul v/s John Edwards next year in the USA. Oh I kid the Americans (talking of which, does anyone know when Bill Maher's new season begins?)

Finally, wrapping up 2007.

1. My movies of the year are The Bourne Ultimatum (English), Chak De India and I'm now adding Khoya Khoya Chand.

2. On DVD, I can't recall one single movie that I went ga-ga over, because this, for me, was the year of TV series on DVD. And therefore, my DVD of the year would have to be "The Sopranos".

3. My song of the year is Vaari Vaari (Hindi). English song would have to be Speed of Sound (I know it's not from 2007, but I heard it so many times this year that it just eclipses anything else I heard).

4. Since I didn't read any book this year, I don't have a book of the year like I did last year. But I can point you to NYT's list of The 10 Best Books of 2007 and Books of the Year 2007 at The Guardian. What a fine line-up of books. Maybe I'll even read one of them next year.

So, what were your fav movies, music and books for the 2007? Love to know.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and yes, Happy Holidays.