Dance little celeb dance

There’s something about dancing in front of everyone that evokes fear in most of us. And everyone loves an underdog. So we’re bound to root for some goofball fumbling over ten left feet to dance on TV. Even if that goofball’s one of India’s best chefs or a film director or a cricket star or an actress of yore. Even if that goofball is trained by some choreographer who also dances with said goofball on the show.

On the other hand, a bunch of TV serial stars and starlets doing the same thing (sans choreographer on stage) doesn’t quite evoke the same enthu, does it ? Come on, we know they’ve trained. They’re actors, trained professionals. Surely they can dance. They’re paid to do that. And hey, their show's a sequel; sequels tend to..you know like...suck – we all know that.

That's probably why I’m enjoying Jhalak Dikhlaja (JD) on Sony TV more than Nach Baliye 2 (NB2) on Star One.

Both shows are named after hit songs. Both shows have celebrity (or at least vaguely well-known) couples dancing for top slot. Both shows have three judges – one choreographer, one film director and one..well..item girl.

Both shows require you to vote for your participant couple to keep them in the contest. Both shows have one couple eliminated each week. Both shows make such a song-and-dance (er, pun not intended) when a couple is thrown out, you’d almost fling your remote at your TV.

Neither of the shows are masterpieces. Both are benefiting like hell from the continuing ridiculous ban on Star Movies and HBO.

As for the hosts of the shows, I thought Parmeet Sethi and Archana were awful…till I saw the Pilgaonkars, Sachin and Supriya. Dude, forget that remote and hand me that flower vase.


But there’s something to watching an awkward Pooja Bedi/Rati Agnihotri/Sanjeev Kapoor/Ajay Jadeja/Akashdeep/Mahesh Manjrekar/Mona Singh/Shweta Salve on JD. By the way – the first three have already been eliminated and that list is my own guess on who will get eliminated in the coming rounds leaving the graceful (and hot!) Ms. Salve as the winner. Ok, ok she’s got an edge being – as above – a TV serial actress. But I think she also has bit of competition from the other - albeit heavier and hence underdog types - Jassi.

And if ever there was a graceful acceptance speech on exit, it had to be of dear old chef Sanjeev Kapoor who said "I came here just so I could learn to dance. So that I can now dance with my wife". Awww, indeed. Hankies ahoy.


On the other hand, I have no idea who the couples on NB2 are. Hell, you can’t make out a Kusum from a Kum Kum from a Kesariya Vilayati how the hell would I know who's who among those 10 couples ? But I can tell you, that Bhaktyaar and Tanaaz are bound to win the contest just for their histrionics (are they on a caffeine/coke drip?) . Besides I read that they’ve trained under Shiamak Davar – which is a bit unfair on the other contestants. There’s also that earlier hangover of a conspiracy theory on Varun and Rajeshwari Badola’s “faked departure” on NB1.

Both shows also suffer a range of clichés mouthed by all the judges as follows
“Your expressions were wonderful, but hand/feet movements can improve”

“You look great as a couple, but you need to work on your co-ordination”

“You put so much joy in your dance, but you need to choose the right song for the samba/cha-cha/disco”

“You chose the right song for today’s show, but somehow I preferred your last performance”

“You know when I choreographed this song, I never knew it can be done in the manner you did”

“I love you and I really want to see you go into the next round so please work on your steps”

“Your dances are so full of enthusiasm and joy and happiness; but there is room for improvement”

The only exception I can say is Saroj Khan in Nach Baliye. That woman can be lethal and I wonder what she’d have reduced someone like Sanjeev Kapoor to on JD. Aside: I firmly think the role of Iffat Bibi in that utterly fantastic Sacred Games was made solely for her. End of aside.

The other judges on both the shows are pretty much yawn. Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s (on JD), gushes are a bit much and Kunal Kohli (on NB2) – man, who chose him ? how can someone who inflicted Fanaa on an unsuspecting populace be allowed to roam freely ? and that too judge others ? Isn’t there a law somewhere?

Except of course Malaika Arora on NB2 and Shilpa Shetty on JD. But I mean, come on, you’re not really interested in the marks they give, right ? They’d be 10 out of 10 on our scales anyways.

Finally, there’s something about these “reality shows” isn’t it ? Although technically, these could be called reverse reality shows since there are celebs involved, as against stuff like Indian Idol and Sa-re-ga-ma-pa which have our hidden ne talented Heemesh-bhais enjoying their 15 seconds of fame.

Thing is, we like celebs to face the heat sometime. Hell, they better dance well to get my vote, and I don’t care a damn if he scored a ton in that match. But come on, he’s also a chef….she’s really plump but she’s at least making effort na..…saala, ekdum dhinchaak jhakaas nachta hai, tapori-style…

In the end, I guess we’re a kind, forgiving audience. So, even as we’ve forgotten the time they dragged us out of the party when we were inflicting a brilliant (albeit drunk and loutish ?) efforts on “Goli maar bheje mein..dishkao..bheja shor karta hai” , we're forgiving the screw-ups of a bunch of gauche celebs trying to dance.

Probably a case of people like us getting even with people like them.