Hibernation

This blog is on a break. As was painfully obvious, posting had dropped. Neither thoughts nor words are constrained but time is. As R.E.M. said "Oh, life is bigger."

See you soon.

In the words of The Gubernator, I'll be baak.

If you have to buy me a gift

Then let this be it.
Anything from here will also be cool. Thanks in advance.

PS - I'm restarting from Season 6, Part 1, Episode 75. I just don't want to see everything at one go. Things like this..you just want it to last.

PPS - And why now? Because I read this today while waiting for a, well, doctor. And talking of which, this bit from the last episode I saw.

In Dr. Melfi's office, Tony laments about people lining up for thrill rides. "They pay money to almost puke." She asks if he's bored. Tony claims he continues to feel that every day is a gift, but "Does it have to be a pair of socks?"

Briefly mentioned

You've heard it before so I won't say it again. I'm tied up with stuff and I've falling back on posts. So there. Meanwhile, some of the interesting things I've come across posted below for your perusal

1.[From FT] Lucy Kellaway on office barbs: Corporate life can be fun. Ask Lucy. In this brilliant column she gives a rundown of the euphemisms hurled at you and what they really mean. I've been fortunate to have worked for a largely-no-bullshit organisation which worked on a bulwark management principle of "Positive feedback is assumed. Negative feedback will be conveyed." (Yes, this has been told to be by my one-time boss). Nowithstanding that, one of my favourite barbs was "We should also look at..." and variations like "Why don't you talk about..". (v. similar to "Have you thought about.." mentioned in Lucy's column). Go read and add your own.

2. [From the BBC]: 50 office-speak phrases you love to hate: Reminds me of what I'd posted here.

2. [From FT] David Simon's interview: The Wire (recommended by my good friend Purush) was arguably the best serial on American television in recent times. And only HBO would air it. I've seen Season 1 on DVD and am waiting for my DVD-wallah to update his library with subsequent seasons. I liked this interview for its descriptions of the series..

The Wire will have none of the trite improbabilities that carefully pilot most movie and television dramas towards their wholesome dénouements. It speaks of a society that is riven, rabid with corruption and frequently wrong-headed. Nothing if not ambitious in its scope, each series treats a different aspect of American society in its overarching narrative: starting with the drug scene, then taking on unemployment, local politics, education and ending with the media.

..and this haunting quote from Simons:

Why doesn’t he write a boy-meets-girl story? “No, I wouldn’t be any good at it.” He says he has problems with female characters. “My strongest female character so far is a lesbian [Kima Greggs, one of The Wire’s police officers].” So where does a viewer find hope in his stories? “In the actions of individuals. In those characters in The Wire who rear up on their hind legs against injustice. The mere act of standing up and speaking for something that is right is a fundamental human victory, even if nothing comes from it.”

3. Back to something funny. I don't know if this is truly Rocky J's blog, but who cares. This is a hilarious post on how Rocky J convinces Vinod Khanna to make a movie on two warring brothers and one South African telecom company. Howlarious. Much fun much required when the markets are causing muchos grief.

4. [From Bloomberg] One more on the markets (via The God in the Middle East): A high-profile analyst at a multinational brokerage ends a 12-year career. During his stint, he also wrote an anon London newspaper column making fun of analysts. Predictably, he's writing a book, which includes this bit:

At one point, Jones, who's been negotiating to switch firms, gets a phone call with an offer: basic pay of 100,000 pounds ($197,000) and two guaranteed bonuses of 250,000 pounds.

``What a total buffoon!'' Jones says of the person making the offer. ``These total losers think that I'm worth almost 700,000 pounds over the next year-and-a-half. Don't they realize I'm just a stoner hippy who got lucky?''

I'm thinking Jack Welch.

5. And finally via The D Man: The Trident at Nariman Point, Mumbai, like you've never seen it before. Hell, even I want to take a photo like that.

On lifts

Firstly, it's 'lift'. I've never heard anyone in Bombay calling it an 'elevator'. So it's lift, not elevator (I mean, imagine Adnan Sami going "Elevate kara de").

My favorite lift story is when we were at this friend’s house. While leaving, I stuck my chewing gum on the "G" button (I figured ground floor’s the most used one) of his lift. I shaped it around the white button, stuck it and left – much disaster, agony, gaali-galoch in his housing society followed. Yes, that was a very tough patch for our friendship. Poor guy.

So, this post is about lifts and the fact that I've been kinda fascinated by them. Terrified of escalators (for which I'm duly mocked at by family and friends), but kinda fascinated by lifts. As a kid it was the whole Superman thing - entering a lift with normal clothes and flying out of the terrace, all caped and red undies and stuff (ok, the undies didn't figure then). As an adolescent, well, if you've heard Aerosmith, you know what I mean. And now - or at least till I worked at an office - I've been fascinated at the great Indian lift culture.

I think lift culture forms an essential part of societal norms and urban life. As long as you are in a mode of transport, there is an established code for behaviour. In a local train you move towards the door when your station's about to come. If you're driving, you stick to certain lanes (yeah right). If you're in a bus, you keep your money ready when the conductor's around. You know, there's an order, a discipline. Small things that keep life in a city calm and peaceful. More importantly, it's part of an important mechanism for survival (or as I know it - getting to office on time.)

I've observed some cogs in the wheel of this lift culture machinery. You know, some trends and types. Like this.

1. The dash - Even before you enter your lobby, from the corner of your eye you notice that of the four lifts in the lobby, only one is boarding - and people are rushing in. This gets out the Carl Lewis or P. T. Usha in you. This is the single most important dash of the day. If you rewind the moment, you can see yourself, in full formals, running, chest heaving, drops of sweat falling off the brow, running to that one lift. Think Chariots of Fire. Think glory, think victory.

2. Being Noah - In the absence of a lift-man, if you happen to be the one near the dashboard, then you, yes you are the man. Sure, others will jab your six packs trying to push the floor button and someone from the back will shout "Boss, jara 10th floor". But dude, you are Noah. This is your ark. You have to herd everyone away from the flood. In short press "door close" and let's move it. Oh and don't forget the expression of Carl Lewis on the other side as the doors close. He didn't make it, I did. Life hai.

3. Low life - May the Lords despatch to hell those who press the "up" button when they want to go "down". May he have fungus-infected underwear for the rest of his life. So the door opens and you see this guy who asks "Neeche?". It brings out the Uruk Hai in you. After all, there is no stretch of logic to justify an action like that. Motion is simple. Up is up and down is down. This lift can't go down mid-way, when it's going up. And certainly not when Mogambo is in it. Now die, filthy mortal. You say "No" calmly. Humanity wins.

4. Desperado - See, pressing the "Lift" button 534 times in 10 seconds won’t get the lift to you quicker. No, really. There's electronics, physics, hydraulics, engineering going behind that door, behind that button. Stuff you won’t understand, stuff that has made people Noble laureates. So it doesn't matter if you keep pressing. I know you belong to an era of collapsible gate lifts when you'd shout out "Lift" and lo and behold, like a nymph from the skies, like an apsara, a lift would float in front of you. No. It's not like that any more. So wait. Be quiet. Save the energy.

So, these were my few observations. Love to know yours.

And if, like me, you’re looking for the answers to these questions:
1. Oh horror, my lift’s falling and I’m going to die. Should I jump out just before it hits the ground?
2. Oh horror, my lift’s….should I just hug the floor of the lift?

..actually even if you’re not thinking those questions, just read this excellent New Yorker piece on elevators, “Up and down: the lives of elevators by Nick Paumgarten”. Brilliant stuff.

Ad nauseam

On more than one occasion, I've said rather lamely here, and at my other blog, that "I am busy and I will come back". Ad nauseam to myself. Fact is blogging doesn't pay my bills and fact is that much as I'd love to pen down all my thoughts here, it's just not possible (and that's why I love twitter). Also, I can't get myself to regularly link to interesting stuff I read, throw in funny comments and post here (and I quite admire those who do that so well).

And now that I've covered all those things, here's the deal. I've not blogged for some time on both my blogs and I think that sucks. There have been enough moments when I've thought and re-thought on whether I should even stop blogging altogether but that's not an option for me (unfortunately it was for this self-confessed loony blogger).

So, yet again I'll say what I've said - I will be back (as a popular Hindi song so succinctly put it - sinful stomach's question it is). Till then in an effort to explain why I blog, I shall conveniently link to the Iengar Chick's excellent cartoon-filled post on "Top 10 Reasons to be a blogger". #3 is enough for me.

Vodafone's brilliant ad campaign

The minute I saw the new Vodafone ads I knew that the pug represents the customer. The customer who haplessly and tirelessly runs around everyone at Vodafone's legendary call centres. I'm guessing the brilliant ad agency who made this will sweep all ad awards.

Any Vodafone customer knows that the transition from Hutch to Vodafone has moved an already abysmal customer service to an unthought of new depth (been to their "customer service centre lately? what's the longest you've been kept on hold? try and beat my record of 38minutes).

And it is exactly this that is being advertised and celebrated by Vodafone, i.e. we're happy to provide you with "customer executives" that you can breathlessly chase after because ha, ha, ha we sure as hell ain't gonna give you any service.

Your call dropped? You can't get reception in your house while other networks can? Oh, we overbilled you did we? Choose from hundreds of such options. Whatever the problem, we sure as hell aren't gonna solve it. But guess what, we're happy to help you with a chance to run around us, ha, ha, ha, geddit?

The day number portability is launced I will gladly pay to get rid of this execrable, abominable and truly pathetic mobile phone service that is one of the best illustrations of the the term fubar.

[PS: also read this post from what might well be the diary of Rocky J. Or not.]

Gone baby gone and inner city decay

This has got to be one of the best movies I've seen in recent times. An earlier non-existent respect for Ben Affleck is now at a high. (Although to be fair, I should also state my admiration for his and Matt Damon's Oscar-winning original script for the brilliant "Good Will hunting").

Casey Affleck's performance took some time to get used to during the movie, mainly because you're expecting so much more emotion from someone in his role. Rather than waste words, I'll just quote Manohla Dargis

Most actors want you to love them, but Casey Affleck doesn’t seem to know that, or maybe he doesn’t care. Patrick doesn’t cuddle or kiss up. He takes the job Bea offers despite the reluctance of his live-in girlfriend and partner, Angie (a solid Michelle Monaghan), but he doesn’t look like anyone’s idea of a savior. With his sneakers and jeans and small-man’s swagger, he comes off like one of those toughs who never leave the neighborhood and would sooner swing a bat at your head than at a ball.

Old reliables Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman's deliver predictably strong performances. On the ratings front, no surprise then that the movie gets a 93% fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes

But leave aside all that. I loved the movie for the beauty of the camera work. And this, expectedly as the DVD features showed, was a key element of the movie. From the first frame to the last, city and community form the vivid canvas for the movie. Some scenes of decay reminded me of HBO's path-breaking and recently concluded "The Wire" (whose depiction of inner city decay was of course on a totally different and deeper level).

Also, if you are going to see the movie look out for the opening and closing lines. Haunting lines of dialogue. I haven't read the book, but if I eventually do, I'll write that down as one of the rare cases of a movie making me want to read the book.

Inner city decay on film has always been an issue close to my heart and I wish it was delved into depth more often in India. And no, despite it's alluring title, I do not include the tepid "Life in a Metro" because that movie was more characters and not city. And no that Irrrffann Khan line of "Ye shehar bahut deta hai aur usse jyaada leta hai" left me unmoved. Yawn.

Still, I shouldn't crib because there's still so much better cinema with Bombay as an integral, even central, character. This theme was explored on this blog in the Reel Life Bombay series where fellow bloggers Filmiholic and Punds were kind enough to pen some fine posts on Bombay in movies. Do read and let me know if you've seen any movie where you also remember the city it was shot in.

[Disclaimer: For those expecting racy, exciting, detective, murder-mystery kinda stuff that makes you fall from your chair every 10 seconds and leaves you bum sore, please don't see this movie.]